Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Trees

There is unrest in the forest,
there is trouble with the trees,
for the maples want more sunlight,
and the oaks ignore their pleas.

Ah Hunters.  We are the emo class.  We want DPS!  We want utility!  We just want them both at the same time!  Right now we do have more utility than most other classes and as a result our single target DPS suffers.  It makes us behave like children that perceive our ice cream cone is smaller.  It just does okay.  Its not rational its just, it just is.

The trouble with the maples,
(and their quite convinced their right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.   

Recount how you taunt us so.  People can say its not about the numbers but it is fun to see yourself a-top the meter.  Do other people in the raid look at the meter.  Yeah, people use it to compare assorted things and to see if they're pushing themselves as far as they should.  Others look at it as an opportunity to be a tool.  Am I mature and secure enough in myself to ignore the tools that have smarmy comments about the meter, not always.  Sometimes it pisses me off when DPS #44342 bragged that he did more DPS than I did because I spent the boss fight running around shooting down orbs that I can't flipping tab target.  

But the oaks can't help their feelings,
if they like the way their made.
And they wonder why the maples
can't be happy in their shade

Yes I know all these utility jobs are important and honestly I love doing most of them.  Its half what I hoped the class would be.  You don't have to keep reminding me of this fact.  I'm the one that goes out and practices so I can do these special roles.  

But DPS still matters in these fights and if the boss doesn't die because we didn't have enough DPS we know people are looking at the green bars and saying "Hmm".  Look you haven't been us.  Until recently no one wanted us.  We were the class everyone snickered at.   We were the last kids picked to play on the (insert pre WOTLK raid here) kickball team. We have performance issues and baggage that you don't.

I think every melee DPS class that says "oh it isn't about the recount numbers" should take a turn down on Anub in ToC taking down those frost orbs that you can't tab target.  Or kite a zombie, can you jump shot with your thrown weapon yet?  How's the bosses health and the enrage timer?  The dude kiting the ooze needs a misdirect on an ooze can you do that NOW.  Juggle this here ball on the blood princess.  BTW my Mage friends, I just learned a better way to have my pet juggle so you're off the hook!

There is trouble in the forest
and the creatures all have fled
as the maples scream "Oppression!"
and the oaks just shake their heads

Listen silly as it sounds you aren't playing the class they call Huntard.  We see it in trade chat, in party chat and yes in guild chat.  It isn't directed at us specifically but its still annoying.  We're put in these roles where we can slip up and wipe a whole raid and risk being called that word.  Its sort of silly but no other class has this stigma.  Okay that's a bit dramatic but by now you've learned most of us have a flair for the dramatic. 

So the maples formed a union
and demanded equal rights
they say the oaks are just too greedy
we will make them give us rights.

Yeah you think that whole everything is Hunter loot was an accident?  That's right we're just that childish.  (joking!)

Non-Hunter people please Appreciate how hard we work.  It really is a complicated class now.  Its no longer /autoshot /afk. 

Some newish hunters, and many hunter alts, just don't take this utility bit seriously.  All they want is the glory.  Listen people there's honestly no glory in being a hunter.  Legolas doesn't live here.  You want glory, roll a rogue, be a tank.  Be Argathne.  

Hunters, do your special job and quit your bitching.  Yes, they lower our DPS, but they are also one of the reasons we're invited to the raids, why this class is so very cool.  Shoot down orbs, bounce orbs, kite blood beasts and zombies, aspect twist on Sindragosa.  All those jobs big and small, noticed and unnoticed make any fight a success.  We're not built to be the same as all the other DPS classes and, no matter how some hunters may wish it so, we should never be.

Now there's no more oak oppression
for they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
by hatchet, axe and saw

The Trees
Lyrics and Music
Neil Peart, Gedddy Lee, Alex Leifson


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